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Let's face it, there's a shit-ton of film reviewers out there. more...

~ 100 Tears has elephantitus of the balls! Everyone meet Gurdy!

• 28 Days Later

~ London is empty and the Rage is spreading... can you survive? 28 Days Later

• A Far Cry From Home

~ Horror is alive and well!

• After Dark Horrorfest III

~ 3 out of 8 ain't bad, I guess ...

• Against the Dark

~ Cockpuncher beats off zompires!

• Alice Jacobs Is Dead

~ Dr. Jacobs saved the world but can he save the one he loves?

• Beyond The Door

~ Green vomit and floating ripoffs!

• Bikini Bloodbath Carwash

~ Unzip your pants its time for Bikini Bloodbath Carwash

• Bizarre Lust Of A Sexual Deviant

~ World class racks, Nos and Haack and Bizarre Lust Of A Sexual Deviant

• Black Devil Doll

~ I like my white meat deep fried! Not endorsed by Rev. Al Sharpton!

• Body of Work

~ The truth and the agony! Body of Work

• Brides of Dracula

~ Saturday Fright Special presents some blood sucking fun!

• Brotherhood of Blood

~ Pulling Ken's Teeth

• Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever

~ Pissing in the punchbowl has never been more fun!

~ Don't be a fuckin pussy, subtitles can't hurt you, Cold Prey

~ Colin may have been made on an anemic budget of just £45 ($70), but trust me this is definitely worth your time!

• Croc

~ Croc, of shit!

• Cube Zombies

~ Take a peek over the partition, aren't those Cube Zombies!

~ So that's how you say 'Oh My God'! Død snø

• Dance of the Dead

~ Shut up and eat me!

~ Sometimes its what you don't see...

• Day of the Dead

~ If you haven't seen this one in awhile it is time to pull it off the shelf and review!

~ People get the Governments they deserve...

• Dead Country

~ On Fat Guys and topless women

• Dead In 3 Days

~ I know what they were doing in Austria last summer, Dead In 3 Days

~ Director Wiest delivers Rodriquez and Harryhausen's love child and calls it Dead Noon!

~ So that's how you say 'Oh My God'! Dead Snow

• Dead Space Downfall

~ If Vasquez fucked Tank Girl, Shen would be the love child! Dead Space Downfall

• Deadwood Park

~ Stop abusing the bishop long enough to find a copy of Deadwood Park!

• Death in Charge

~ Don't tell Mom the babysitters death.

• Devil's Tomb, The

~ Even Hellboy is trapped in The Devil's Tomb

• Diary of the Dead

~ George didn't jump on the bandwagon you fuckin dolts, he built it!

~ Your gonna regret it if you don't go see this one! District 9

• Domain of the Damned

~ No titties, just tentacles and terror!

• Dracula.3000

~ I wish I could say I hadn't watched it, but I did, Dracula.3000

• Drag Me To Hell

~ Drag Me To Hell, please! Sam's back.

~ Beneath the mask, someone is watching...

• Drive-In Horrorshow

~ Hello Boils and Ghouls ... Welcome to the Drive-In Horrorshow!

~ If you are looking for warm and fuzzy, stay the fuck away from Eden Lake!

~ No boobs, but a hell of a lot of feral fun!

• Eternal Blood

~ Eternal Blood, another set of false teeth worth watching!

• Evil Aliens

~ Anal probes and hot English birds, Evil Aliens really does have it all!

• Evil-To Kako

~ Did someone say Zombies and Shotguns?

• Fear Dot Com

~ "I'd like to say I can feel your pain... but I can't."--Alistair Pratt (Rea)

• Feast 3 - The Happy Finish

~ Hey you! Stop fucking that cat and look at this, Feast III - The Happy Finish

• Feast II: Sloppy Seconds

~ Can't wait to get me some sloppy seconds!

• Feeding The Masses

~ Don't be asses watch Feeding the Masses

• Five Across The Eyes

~ Stop touching yourself long enough to get Five Across The Eyes!

• Four Flies On Grey Velvet

~ Pardon me, are you going to eat that? Four Flies On Grey Velvet

• Friday the 13th (Remake)

~ 106 minutes I can't get back, fuck you Michael Bay and fuck Friday the 13th!

~ Don't be a fuckin pussy, subtitles can't hurt you, Fritt Vilt

~ A very solid and meticulously crafted thriller!

• Funny Games

~ Watts and Roth tear it up!

~ Juliana traded her scalpel for a tugboat and it sank! Ghost Ship

• Ghost Story

~ Ghost Story, classic horror or truncated crap?

• Gimme Skelter

~ Boobs big , knuckles brass, Gimme Skelter fast!

• Ginger Snaps

~ The Brit Chick looks at a Canadian film for an American website and takes a bite out of Ginger Snaps!

• God of Vampires

~ Forget Twatlight, and pick up a good old fashioned blood bath! God of Vampires

• Goosebumps: Monster Blood

~ Green Goo, Swamp Creatures, and Monsters! (For Kids Only)

• Gran Torino

~ Clint Eastwood simply cannot be outdone, Gran Torino!

• Gutterballs

~ Well pardon my bung! aren't those balls in the gutter yours, Gutterballs.

• Halloween II (Remake)

~ Zombie fumbles and hopefully this franchise is dead, Halloween II

~ What's a Header?

• Headless Horseman

~ Look over there ... Headless Horseman !

• Hell's Ground

~ Hell's Ground, the Pakistani Hootenanny

• Hemo

~ A love story with teeth...

~ It's not Hitchcock's Psycho, but don't overlook Castle's Homicidal!

• Horror High

~ You know how some drugs and change a person mentally... Horror High!

• Hostel: Part II

~ How much are you worth? Hostel: Part 2

• House of Voices

~ House of Voices isn't scary but Doillon jingled my dingle!

• House on Sorority Row

~ The exception to prove the rule, House on Sorority Row

• How To Be A Serial Killer

~ Just ten steps to a rewarding future!

• Hypochondriac

~ Take some penicillin and call me in the morning! Hypochondriac

• I Sell The Dead

~ This film is a comic come to life!

• I Spit On Eli Roth

~ This is a public service announcement from the fine folks at Deviant Pictures!

• I Spit On Your Corpse, I Piss On Your Grave

~ Anal rape anyone? I Spit On Your Corpse, I Piss On Your Grave!

• I'll Bury You Tomorrow

~ Lets do the necro-nasty!

• In 3 Tagen Bist Du Tot

~ I know what they were doing in Austria last summer, In 3 Tagen Bist Du Tot

~ A short reminiscent of Nosferatu!

• Isle Of The Damned

~ Please don't eat my cock! Isle of the Damned

• Jennifer's Body

~ She isn't even a backdoor virgin anymore! Jennifer's Body

• Johnny Sunshine: Maximum Violence

~ Note to Self: Don't upset Johnny! Johnny Sunshine: Maximum Violence

~ Some heroes are better left in four colors...

~ I can only think of four reasons to see Junior

• Killer Movie

~ Take off your pants, pick up the bottle, scratch and pour and you will enjoy Killer Movie

• Kingdom Of The Spiders

~ Aversion therapy at it's finest! Kingdom of the Spiders!

• Knock Knock

~ A Rock 'em Sock 'em Fuck You, Knock Knock rocks!

• Låt Den Rätte Komma In

~ Don't let the scary subtitles stop you just Låt Den Rätte Komma In

• La Sorella di Satana

~ Who hasn't popped wood over Steele! The She Beast

• La Sorella di Ursula

~ Bang a gong, death by dong, La Sorella di Ursula

• Laid to Rest

~ Robert Hall turns up the gruesome! Laid to Rest fucking rules!

• Land of the Dead

~ Asia Argento entertains in Romero's Land of the Dead!

• Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III

~ "There's road kill all over Texas"

• Les Dents de la Nuit

~ This Party is going to suck ... Les Dents de la Nuit

• Let The Right One In

~ Don't let the scary subtitles stop you just Let The Right One In

• Let's Scare Jessica To Death

~ What exactly is Jessica's problem? Let's Scare Jessica To Death

• Little Otik

~ A cabbage patch, a stick baby, and an old pervert! Little Otik

~ Another independent gem worth looking for, Livestock

~ The original hardgore masterpiece, Maniac!

~ Like a cheesegrater on your testicles, Martyrs!

• Midnight Movie

~ Grab some of this, you might get some!

~ Hopefully Mirrors won't bring Aja seven years bad luck!

• Mother of Tears

~ Follow the signs and beware the prophecy!

• Mulberry St

~ I just looked at a great new apartment on Mulberry St.

• Murder Party

~ I need to get my hands on 'OL PAINLESS! Murder Party here I come!

• Murder Set Pieces (Director's Cut)

~ This one calls it as it sees it, Murder Set Pieces (Director's Cut)

• Mustang Sally's Horror House

~ E.G. made me drool on myself!

• My Bloody Valentine

~ Piss on Harry Worden will they! My Bloody Valentine Uncut 1981 Original!

• My Bloody Valentine 3-D

~ The boobs are bouncing, the blood is spraying, go see My Bloody Valentine 3-D!

~ Should I mop up some jizz or kill zombies?

• New York Blood

~ Nick Oddo and Vinnie Stigma deliver some eye goughing suprises!

• Night of the Creeps

~ Thrill me! Night of the Creeps

• Night of the Living Dead

~ The one that started it all... Night of the Living Dead!

• Nightmare Sisters

~ Crystal balls, nerds, baths, and then big teeth!

• No Man's Land: The Rise of Reeker

~ Pedestrian underground, No Man's Land: the Rise of Reeker

• No Through Road

~ Blood flies as Sam Barrett picks up the pace! No Through Road

• Nun of That

~ She's the habit that will break you! Nun of That

• One Eyed Monster

~ Please help Ron Jeremy find his penis! One Eyed Monster

~ A cabbage patch, a stick baby, and an old pervert! Little Otik

• Otto; or Up With Dead People

~ Penises on parade or Otto; or Up with Dead People, homophobes need not apply!

• Paranormal Activity

~ Jesus, it looks like something bit you! Paranormal Activity

~ Pieces of Pieces, the puzzle of poontang bisected!

• Pig

~ "Well, there goes another one."

~ If you didn't like Pink Eye your head must be stuck in your brown eye!

• Poultrygeist

~ Get off your cluckin ass and buy POULTRYGEIST!

• Prison of the Psychotic Damned

~ For fans only, Prison of the Psychotic Damned

• Prom Night (1980)

~ Sweater cows thrill loser, read all about it! Prom Night (1980)

~ You mean the old woman I saw tonight wasn't Mrs. Bates? - 'Lila Crane'

~ PLEASE see [REC] first! but if you cant Quarantine ain't no slouch either!

• Quattro Mosche Di Velluto Grigio

~ Pardon me, are you going to eat that? Quattro Mosche Di Velluto Grigio

~ Ahmed gets Rochon to chew on some intestines bare breasted!

• REC

~ Fuck the remake! find [REC] and make a stand!

~ From Dead Birds to Army guys something is lost in translation, Red Sands

• Red Victoria

~ Red Victoria, necrophilia and other fun stuff!

~ Shut up and get your RetarDEAD ass on the bus!

• Return to House on Haunted Hill

~ Not even Cerina could save this sequel, Return to House on Haunted Hill

• Return To Sleepaway Camp

~ Hey! Where's the penis?

~ Don't worry mate, we are perfectly safe on this boat ... Rogue

• Run! Bitch Run!

~ Jam packed with bitches and balls deep in violence! Run! Bitch Run!

• Run! Bitch Run!

~ A KillingBoxx Goocher... Run! Bitch Run!

~ Saint Ange isn't scary but Doillon jingled my dingle!

• Sangre Eterna

~ Sangre Eterna, another set of false teeth worth watching!

• Savage Harvest

~ Pointy tongued demons and pictures on rocks, Savage Harvest and the trail of tears!

~ No boobs, but it's electric!

~ Let's eat some snowboarders with the Slob! Scarce is fierce!

~ It took a hell of a lot of big grapes to make this SCRAPBOOK!

• Scream, Blacula, Scream

~ Dracula's soul brotha is back; craving young bodies and lusting for hot blood! Scream, Blacula, Scream!

~ Are you that muscle man built for sculpting? Sculpture

• Serial: Amoral Uprising

~ Have you ever been mad enough to kill? Serial: Amoral Uprising

~ So how many fuckups can one set of dimwitted company representatives throw themselves into, on just one team-building trip outside of the office?

• Severe Injuries

~ There is nothing funnier than Severe Injuries

~ No boobs, but a hell of a lot of feral fun!

~ Let me borrow your penis, I have an idea! Sick Girl

~ Hindenburg hooters highlight Ski Wolf

• Skinned Alive

~ See a cannibal hooker eat Scooter's lips!

~ Slashers! It's super fine! Now show us those Boobs!

~ Lights... Camera... Body Parts!

• Someone's Knocking At The Door

~ "I'm gonna fuck you. Fuck you till you die."

• Special Dead

~ Sometimes heroes ride the short bus!

• Splatter Disco

~ Did you ever want to fuck a Panda?

~ Yesterday Anastasia got a Splinter in her ass!

• Survival of the Dead

~ Survival is not just for the living... Romero's Survival of the Dead!

• Swamp Zombies

~ Even Jasmin's big ones can't provide bounce to SWAMP ZOMBIES

~ Your little suzi ate my twinkie!

• Terror Nation

~ "If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face..forever." - George Orwell

• The Alphabet Killer

~ Eliza and Rob make a wrong turn with The Alphabet Killer

• The Black Dahlia

~ It's missing an hour, but De Palma's work hits the spot! The Black Dahlia

• The Blair Witch Project

~ Blair Witch ten years later!

• The Burrowers

~ I think you are gonna dig this one! The Burrowers

• The Butcher

~ Pig Man and Chainsaws beat a dead horse! The Butcher

• The Children

~ Snowball fights and children... will they take you out?

• The Cottage

~ This bird can't be caged!

• The Craving

~ Lets get high on monster stank!

• The Crazies (Remake)

~ A tolerable remake, but it's not as good as Romero's!

• The Dead Don't Scream

~ First you will wish you hadn't, then you will be glad you did. The Dead Don't Scream

• The Gateway Meat

~ Now where did those jumper cables go?

• The Good Sisters

~ Thou shalt not suffer a Witch to live Exodus 22:18

• The Great American Snuff Film

~ Capturing the raw images on super 8 film!

• The House of the Demon

~ Little Blow Peep and the toga demon! The House of the Demon

• The Killer Shrews

~ Classic monster movie complete with pubic hair puppets, The Killer Shrews!

• The Legend of Sorrow Creek

~ It probably won't make you pee but check out The Legend of Sorrow Creek

• The Leopard Man

~ No blood, no boobs, still a masterpiece! The Leopard Man

~ Unfortunately every town has a violent little bitch like Ray, Jack Ketchum's The Lost

• The Lost Boys

~ The one thing living in Santa Carla I could never stomach, all the damn vampires!

• The Making of Halloween

~ Fanboys fruitcakes and the making of Halloween

• The Midnight Meat Train

~ Grab a jar of warts and your favorite hammer its time for a ride on The Midnight Meat Train

• The Old Dark House

~ Wouldn't you love to spend a night in The Old Dark House!

• The Psychomanteum

~ Put on your shorts! were going to The Psychomanteum!

• The She Beast

~ Who hasn't popped wood over Steele! The She Beast

• The Sinful Dwarf

~ "Because you have the key......"

• The Sister of Ursula

~ Bang a gong, death by dong, The Sister of Ursula

• The Strangers

~ It's not French but its still scary!

• The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

~ Meanest dog on the block! The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

• The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Remake)

~ The Erminator and Biel's ass! Texas Chaisaw Massacre (the remake)

• The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

~ "Don't skimp on the meat" The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

• The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

~ Brewster ain't Biel and Biel ain't Burns so why bother TCM- The Beginning

• The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation

~ McConaughey's failure to launch started here! TCM- The Next Generation

• The Tripper

~ Where America's best and brightest come to celebrate!

• The Undertow

~ I got me a hankering to squish some city boy's head! The Undertow

• The Vagrant

~ Currently not available, Contact MGM and demand your copy of The Vagrant now!

• The Wild Man Of The Navidad

~ That damn Bigfoot sure gets around doesn't he?

• The Wolfman

~ A tolerable remake howls in the moonlight! The Wolfman

• Thicker Than Water: The Vampire Diaries Part 1

~ Fuck Twilight, blood is Thicker Than Water!

~ Pasteurized pathos from down under!

• Tokyo Gore Police

~ Tokyo Gore Police, complete with chainsaw duels and gimps!

~ Hostel on a train... wow that's original!

• Trick 'r Treat

~ WB can bite my ass! Trick 'r Treat is finally here!

~ In a world filled with cliché it is always refreshing to find an artist that understands the difference between homage and plagiarism.

• Twisted Brain

~ You know how some drugs and change a person mentally... Twisted Brain!

• Undead or Alive

~ A sensitive cowboy polishes his locket!

• Under the Raven's Wing

~ Sometimes less really is more! Under the Raven's Wing

~ Brain Frappe anyone! Us Sinners

• Vampire Party

~ This Party is going to suck ... Vampire Party

• Vengeance of the Dead

~ Gross! Gramps is slapping the salami!

~ Vipers, The best Tara Reid movie since Josie and the Pussycats!

• Voodoo Dollz

~ I am in the girls locker room, doing what my mommy told me not to do! Voodoo Dollz

• Warlock Moon

~ The giant red bell bottoms are the only scary thing about Warlock Moon

• What To Do In A Zombie Attack

~ What would you do?

• White of the Eye

~ Murder as performance art! White of the Eye

• Why Am I In A Box?

~ "Welcome to the White Room, One way in, Two ways out, Done...or dead"

• Wicked Lake

~ The Pye gets pink in Wicked Lake

• Wild Country

~ Scottish werewolves and horny Priests!

~ Zibahkhana, the Pakistani Hootenanny

• Zombie Dearest

~ Penis sock puppet! need I say more....... Zombie Dearest

• Zombie Diaries

~ Dear Zombie Diaries, today I bit some guy with a camera!

• Zombie Strippers

~ The power of ping pong balls!

• Zombies Zombies Zombies

~ Strippers vs. Zombies - Game on!

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